GLOBETROTTER GUIDE

The Regent's Mahoney reveals night life in Zagreb

If I hear the ‘there's-nothing-to do-in-Zagreb-at-night' line again, I think I'll bloody scream. You just have to look around a bit and, as with much of what this city has to offer, the venues are not always promoted so well for your average visitor. Zagreb is in its infancy as a city-break destination - fetal almost - and bar and club operators look to the domestic consumer, reasonably enough, for their bread-and-butter. 

 

The glory of this is, of course, that we Johnny-foreigners have the opportunity to witness an indigenous, genuine night-time economy (awfentik, innit?) rather than the trite, often seedy made-for-tourism entertainment of some Eastern European cities.

Now I'm the first to admit that I'm not exactly a night-life aficionado but, when I look at the demographic of a lot of our guests, maybe I'm not in such a bad position to be your guide. So read this through the ever-strengthening, cynically-tinted spectacles of a 40-something and prepare to have a wee look under the carpet for some of the things you can do as darkness descends on downtown Zagreb.

 

Bars: International crowd, drinks and people-watching 

 

The rule of thumb is Tkalća for the summer for people-watching, Khala and Jackie Brown's for the beautiful set and People's for the after-work crowd and, generally, you can't go wrong with that but there's not much to these bars that you wouldn't see the world over so for something a little different, try Pod Starim Krovovima, allegedly the oldest bar in Zagreb, tucked away in the Upper Town with old-school hospitality and some live acts squeezed in - spatially as well as temporally - this is real charm.

 

Some mention of sports bars is a must - stop rolling your eyes at the back - a necessary evil for those of us who will happily take in a game of Kabaddi on the TV rather than watch no sport at all. Only two options really - The Bulldog Pub which I had avoided until recently because every review talked about it, but it's by far the most comfortable place to watch the footie with their giving leather sofas. The downside is the service is diabolical but you can add to the sporting theme by rugby-tackling a passing waiter. Perhaps the last sentence is a little unfair because it's really about cultural differences: in Croatia, it's not unusual to sit in front of an empty coffee cup, long-since drained, and while away the hours chewing the fat; if you come from a culture where it's considered impolite to sit with an empty glass, particularly where alcohol's involved, this can seem a little strange. The other is the Old Pharmacy, a quaint recreation of an English pub, complete with replica violins adorning the walls, warm beer and foul-smelling loos. It does have a jolly big screen, though, and a convivial host in Marko who puts up with all amounts of abuse as the clientele argue over which game they want to watch - the channel choice is seemingly endless - and cheerfully doles out free popcorn during the Big Match.

 

Cosmopolitan as it isn't, Zagreb's got a few bars catering for the international crowd if the sociable mood takes. The aforementioned OP is the hang-out for a predominantly Brit-pack on Thursday nights - until the summer cajoles the donning of shorts, over-exposure of white legs and an exodus to the balmy bosom of Maraschino in Cvjetni Trg. The Internations Club flits from place to place for their Tuesday night bash and Meetup Zagreb is on Wednesdays in Jackie Brown (always a good idea to check their web-site first, though, they seem to move in mysterious venues as well as ways). Plan B at the Kaptol end of Tkalčićeva always attracts a mix of nationalities - it's a small intimate gaff with a good selection of beers and a larger-than-life mine host, Joe, who is often to be found propping up our side of the bar - it can get messy.

 

Nightclubs: Peppermint Club is now the place to be

 

Cards on the table, this is far from my thing but for those that like the small-town school disco feel, there's the choice of Hemingway on Tuškanac, Saloon and Fly Bar. If you want to delve into a bit post-modernism, you can do no better than No.1 Club which is reminiscent of an ‘80s students union bar, complete with room-edge common room chairs, the odd late teen couple winching in the corner and really bad music - it's a 5-minute stop-off and only then if you've come dressed up in irony. On the other hand, best not. If you've image in mind, Peppermint Club is now the place to be - aside from Mansion on Lake Jarun but there's really no pun intended when I say they have missed the boat - where they laughably think that a bit of mint-green formica (you see what those clever designers did there? - OK, OK it's glass, not formica, but you get the point) and a ‘VIP section' make them avant la lettre in lounge cool.

 

For a more inclusive, do-what-you-want, wear-what-you-want, drink-what-you-want option, try Sokol Klub. With an apparent target audience of those of us on the wrong side of 25, there's no pretence here, just a good dose of fun within a short 3 o'clock stagger to the definitive après-drink fuelling point, Pingvin (see Regent Magazine no.3).

 

The real flavour of the Croatian night scene comes in the unlikely setting of People's. Late on Thursdays, this self-styled joint of hip slips off the designer gear to go all folky. To be fair, it's not a bad venue on the more mainstream evenings but here's when you can see traditional Slavonian (eastern Croatia) tam-tam as the tamborica plays centre-stage and the fiercely parochial - in a good sense - crowd welcome outsiders into their partying culture. Don't worry about not knowing the words, just indulge in a few and shout along to the music.

 

One sorely-missed joint is the burlesque-styled lounge Posh Fantasy Bar. Until recently located in the Cascades Centre just across the corridor from Bling which is to be avoided like the plague if only because there's not a hint of irony in the name. Run by the frighteningly appealing Zagreb socialite, Snježana Mehun, Posh blended outrageously decadent burlesque mini-shows with an outstanding line up of internationally-sourced DJs, worthy of Bali's home of lounge, Kudeta. Rumour has it Snježana's on the lookout for a new home. Watch this space.

 

Zagreb punches way above its weight on the concert scene

 

Largely thanks to a successful partnership of local impresario Lupa Promotions and European concert powerhouse Live Nation, Zagreb punches way above its weight on the concert scene and such is the level of consumer spending in this neck of the woods, tickets are often available without going through the trauma of 30-second sell-out and second-tier, semi-legitimate touting of many western European countries. Britney Speirs, Massive Attack, Arcade Fire, Anansie Skunk, Tom Jones, Sade, Lenny Kravitz, Hurts, The Human League, Chris Rea and Jean Michel Jarre are just a few that have done their thing in the Zagreb Arena and elsewhere in recent months (I would be just a little parochial and sniffingly homesick by including Scottish phenomenon the Red Hot Chilli Pipers in this line-up but they were here too!) and it's worth checking out what's on when you're in town to make for a most unlikely, unplanned night out.

 

Boom in foreign language stand-up

 

If, like me, you're a long way off picking up the nuances of Croatian stand-up comedy, there's choice-a-plenty with the recent boom in foreign language stand-up. Studio Smijeha were the trailblazers with their international nights in French, English and German in a converted cinema on Vlaška - this is a comedy club as it should be, as they were before the Comedy Store scrub-up; spit and sawdust, an eclectic ensemble of furniture and one of the acts running the bar - remember that? They always produce a great star act and the support is pretty good, aside from the owner, Marina's, blend of I'm-funny-because-I'm-a-woman-and-gay non-com. Also getting in on the act was Boogaloo's bi-lingual stand-up comedy festival, Komedija s nogu at the Movie Pub (also good for Karaoke, if that's your bag, but little else) and Mirth Control & Nino Bantić but they seem to have gone to ground in recent months after their home, the BP Club, closed down.

So there's what to do but, look, I won't lie to you, if you want a really good night out, go to Belgrade - but I bet you can't last more than a few days (well, unless you're Irish).