RULES OF PROTOCOL AND ETIQUETTE

Gifts and flowers for hosts of reception

Sending flowers to the hostess of a reception and a gift to the host is polite and should be done two hours prior to the reception, by delivery, with your card and your spouse's card if they have been invited to the reception.

The bouquet of flowers should be of moderate size, should not be egregious, and you should take into account the type and the color of flowers, depending on the customs of the country that the host of a reception comes from.

Sending flowers in advance is obligatory, so that the hostess can put them into a vase prior to your arrival. Otherwise, the bouquet causes inconvenience to the hostess since she has to take care of it when her guests are arriving. If we are not in a position to send the flowers in advance, the same can be done the next day with a short thank-you letter called 'bred and butter letter'. This is a very short letter with which we thank for the invitation and especially for socializing with the hosts and other interesting guests. The flowers and the gifts are given only when one is invited to residences, that is homes, and not to restaurants and official premises.

Symbolic, never expensive gifts

In these occasions we present the host with a symbolic gift, and we also have to ensure that our presents are never expensive, to avoid burdening our host with a possible obligation he might feel to return the gift in the same way. For example, an appropriate gift is a bottle of wine (of course, it is given only to hosts who can receive alcohol as a gift) or a bottle of olive oil. To the newly arrived colleagues or officials we can give a set of auto-maps or a city map, a book about the city or the country. In fact, a book is always an appropriate gift. One should always try to give an original gift, and the inappropriate gifts in certain countries will be covered in one of our following columns. If you are a guest in a home of a couple with children, you should avoid buying candy, because many parents limit the consumption of sweets. In this occasion, it is more appropriate to bring children's books, picture books, children's play games, a painting set and the like.

One should not come to a reception before the time specified on the invitation nor should one stay longer than the time specified. By no means should one leave before the main guest or the oldest person, regardless the hurry one might be in. We will try to avoid leaving in a group, and we certainly will not wait to be the last one to leave the reception. If the hosts have invited us to lunch, the socializing will usually end and the guests will leave 10 minutes after the coffee has been served and consumed, unless the host indicates otherwise by his pace and the dynamics of the conversation.

Dinner events will not have this indicator, because in the evening, after the food has been served, the coffee, tea, or digestive drinks are usually served in a separate parlor, where the actual conversationds begin, and can take an hour or longer. The closure of a lunch or a diner event in a restaurant will be arranged by the host and the restaurant management, and it will be indicated by the dynamic of serving the courses.